Saturday, July 31, 2010
Holy Hell Batman!
Best thing about Catholicism? There is a patron saint for everything. Saint Martha , Saint Notburga, and Saint Zitta are patron saints for servers...guess I will be praying to them from now on :-)
You really want me to notice you? Fuck. You.
Before I go into vent mode let me just say that Dog Guy came in and I got to take care of him, which made my night (Yay!) Money wise tonight was bueno but once he sat in my section the night was fantastico. :-) Now to the venting...
Evidently there are currently two or three sports tournaments in town. That's great for the old bank account so I'm not going to bitch about that because for the most part I've had decent guests....until tonight anyways. Two ladies sit down at the bar and one of them asked if they could get the spot wiped up...ok not a big deal it was just water from a glass being slid over that I hadn't had time to get to yet...so my partner wipes the spot for them while I grab their menus. Once I hand them the menus Dragon Lady goes to put her's down and rips it back up off the bar and makes the comment, "*snort of disgust* Come on! if you guys can't do better than this then I will just get a manager!"...umm Lady we keep our towel in a sani bucket instead of a pile somewhere on the bar because it's more sanitary. Not only that but we just wiped the spot you sat at (there was a clean and dry spot two chairs down that she could have chosen but whatever) so yes its going to still be a little damp (and damp is the key word, because since you chose to sit there we ring the towel out as good as possible). And lastly, you do not have to threaten to get my manager I would be more than happy to go get him so you can tell him how evil we are for not cleaning up the recently vacated spot immediately and how by using a towel it was still damp--just to let you know lady our busser's towels are absolutely disgusting they only get put in a sani bucket maybe three times during a shift...but if you would like I will get you one of those towels that have been used on multiple tables and highchairs without being rinsed out just so your spot can be nice and dry...............ok now back to the story, at this point I just raise my eyebrows at the threat and tell her that the best I can currently do is give her some napkins. Now I understand that because I am a bartender that somehow means that I'm beneath you. I don't like it, but I can tolerate it. You will be the guest that gets ninja service and every time I go to the kitchen you will be called various animal/body part combos. I let the other bartender take point on her because hey I'm closing and don't have to deal with it. I go back to well and start making all the server drinks that are coming in, once I get caught up I notice two ladies standing in the space next to Dragon Lady. I greet them and one tells me it's the others birthday. I tell her happy birthday and said, "since it's you b-day that means you want a lemon drop shot right?" she grins real big because that was evidently her drink of choice back in the day (score for me) they also order various other drinks. I am in the process of making the order when the guest talking to her friend says something about how she wishes she had a different voice--now there really isn't anything wrong with her voice, it's just kinda on the loud side--and then Dragon Lady decides to open her mouth and comments, "yeah I agree. It is really annoying"---fuckin bitch I was thinking, on my face was pure shock; because why the fuck do you have to be so rude to someone who is obviously not staying at the bar just ordering drinks? the Birthday Lady looked at her to see if maybe lady was just joking or something and then this look of shock/hurt comes over her face...I'm really proud of Birthday Lady because all she did was say, "well I will be gone soon and you won't have to deal with me in your ear." and it was true all she was waiting on was her lemon drop. I almost wish she had pitched a fit then Dragon Lady would have gone bye-bye. Birthday Lady does end up walking away and sent her husband over to get her shot (which I immediately made as a double, sort of as my own apology)
Like I said, up until that point Dragon Lady was receiving ninja service from me. Then you fucking bitch you screwed up my tip from Birthday Lady. Me and her were clicking enough that I know me and my partner would have split at least five. You, ass-fucking-cunt, dropped my tip down to a measly $2. You fuck with my money I don't pay attention to you. It really is that simple. My partner is the one who actually is taking care of you so I know you will still get service but you don't exist in my world anymore.
After witnessing that I was really irate--I've calmed since (yeah this is me more calm)--I saw my manager walk by and I hollered his name; when he came back to the bar window I told him that I needed to speak with him in the kitchen in about five. Then came the Keystone Barkeeps. I broke a bottle of Martin&Rossi Asti. We get that cleaned and we both go into the kitchen grab all the things we need to take care of various guests. We each go grab a tray, I got stuck telling the manager in the kitchen what just happened--because if Cuntalicious Dragon Lady is gonna complain the manager will know what the hell is going on before they get there. I come into the bar just in time to see S drop his tray of food--all over him. I can't help it I started laughing, every single guest is laughing except for Dragon Lady and her friend (it's not their food that fell, it's the tray I'm carrying) I put my tray down and tell S that I'm going to go get the stuff he just dropped and here is his tray of food--at the time I didn't know for sure it was Dragon Lady's but time wise it matched up to when her order should have been coming out--I go back to the kitchen and grab the soup and bread sticks he just dropped and when I get back to the bar the food is still on the tray on the back part of the bar. I gave him his soup and bread but instead of passing out the food that's still sitting on the tray I decide to clean up the mess on the floor which means that I get to go back to the kitchen and grab a broom and dust pan (I'm completely safety conscious--Fagioli soup is a slip hazard and blah blah) I come back in Dragon Lady had her food (I hope you enjoyed seeing it sit there bitch) and we get the mess cleaned up. When S threw some water on the floor and the broke glass bucket falls over. Seriously, it was a good twenty minutes of just cleaning stupid shit. So we now get that cleaned up and S is bringing over another bottle to put in our bucket when it somehow slips out of his hand and smashes on the other side of the bar. Luckily we had some regulars sitting there so they just make big jokes out of it. Between me and them we grounded S from going near the door to the kitchen or carrying anything. I went back to the kitchen grabbed the broom and dustpan to clean the bar again. And that's that for the Keystone Barkeeps. Dragon Lady decides on desert so S is getting that and I get desert for another party. When we both are in the kitchen we hear the backdoor bell ring, he looks at me and I said, "I'm so not dealing with that bitch in there we'll both go smoke and I will just ask C to watch the bar for us." C agrees once I give her the rundown and while we're smoking she asks Dragon Lady if she needs anything--no but then Dragon Lady tells C, "thanks for acknowledging us"
I realize this is a dig on me. I refuse to, remember you cost me money you no longer exist and I'm pretty sure S started ninja serving your rude ass. And even if he hasn't started that we just spent 30 min breaking/dropping/and cleaning up the messes (but evidently we did that on purpose *eye roll*). Our manager that was working the kitchen came up around then and cashed Dragon Lady out, and I guess our performance was so stellar she decided not to tip--no surprise anyways.
As far as nights go it was a good shift, even with that fiasco we each still made 50; and i broke a bill before the end of it.
Evidently there are currently two or three sports tournaments in town. That's great for the old bank account so I'm not going to bitch about that because for the most part I've had decent guests....until tonight anyways. Two ladies sit down at the bar and one of them asked if they could get the spot wiped up...ok not a big deal it was just water from a glass being slid over that I hadn't had time to get to yet...so my partner wipes the spot for them while I grab their menus. Once I hand them the menus Dragon Lady goes to put her's down and rips it back up off the bar and makes the comment, "*snort of disgust* Come on! if you guys can't do better than this then I will just get a manager!"...umm Lady we keep our towel in a sani bucket instead of a pile somewhere on the bar because it's more sanitary. Not only that but we just wiped the spot you sat at (there was a clean and dry spot two chairs down that she could have chosen but whatever) so yes its going to still be a little damp (and damp is the key word, because since you chose to sit there we ring the towel out as good as possible). And lastly, you do not have to threaten to get my manager I would be more than happy to go get him so you can tell him how evil we are for not cleaning up the recently vacated spot immediately and how by using a towel it was still damp--just to let you know lady our busser's towels are absolutely disgusting they only get put in a sani bucket maybe three times during a shift...but if you would like I will get you one of those towels that have been used on multiple tables and highchairs without being rinsed out just so your spot can be nice and dry...............ok now back to the story, at this point I just raise my eyebrows at the threat and tell her that the best I can currently do is give her some napkins. Now I understand that because I am a bartender that somehow means that I'm beneath you. I don't like it, but I can tolerate it. You will be the guest that gets ninja service and every time I go to the kitchen you will be called various animal/body part combos. I let the other bartender take point on her because hey I'm closing and don't have to deal with it. I go back to well and start making all the server drinks that are coming in, once I get caught up I notice two ladies standing in the space next to Dragon Lady. I greet them and one tells me it's the others birthday. I tell her happy birthday and said, "since it's you b-day that means you want a lemon drop shot right?" she grins real big because that was evidently her drink of choice back in the day (score for me) they also order various other drinks. I am in the process of making the order when the guest talking to her friend says something about how she wishes she had a different voice--now there really isn't anything wrong with her voice, it's just kinda on the loud side--and then Dragon Lady decides to open her mouth and comments, "yeah I agree. It is really annoying"---fuckin bitch I was thinking, on my face was pure shock; because why the fuck do you have to be so rude to someone who is obviously not staying at the bar just ordering drinks? the Birthday Lady looked at her to see if maybe lady was just joking or something and then this look of shock/hurt comes over her face...I'm really proud of Birthday Lady because all she did was say, "well I will be gone soon and you won't have to deal with me in your ear." and it was true all she was waiting on was her lemon drop. I almost wish she had pitched a fit then Dragon Lady would have gone bye-bye. Birthday Lady does end up walking away and sent her husband over to get her shot (which I immediately made as a double, sort of as my own apology)
Like I said, up until that point Dragon Lady was receiving ninja service from me. Then you fucking bitch you screwed up my tip from Birthday Lady. Me and her were clicking enough that I know me and my partner would have split at least five. You, ass-fucking-cunt, dropped my tip down to a measly $2. You fuck with my money I don't pay attention to you. It really is that simple. My partner is the one who actually is taking care of you so I know you will still get service but you don't exist in my world anymore.
After witnessing that I was really irate--I've calmed since (yeah this is me more calm)--I saw my manager walk by and I hollered his name; when he came back to the bar window I told him that I needed to speak with him in the kitchen in about five. Then came the Keystone Barkeeps. I broke a bottle of Martin&Rossi Asti. We get that cleaned and we both go into the kitchen grab all the things we need to take care of various guests. We each go grab a tray, I got stuck telling the manager in the kitchen what just happened--because if Cuntalicious Dragon Lady is gonna complain the manager will know what the hell is going on before they get there. I come into the bar just in time to see S drop his tray of food--all over him. I can't help it I started laughing, every single guest is laughing except for Dragon Lady and her friend (it's not their food that fell, it's the tray I'm carrying) I put my tray down and tell S that I'm going to go get the stuff he just dropped and here is his tray of food--at the time I didn't know for sure it was Dragon Lady's but time wise it matched up to when her order should have been coming out--I go back to the kitchen and grab the soup and bread sticks he just dropped and when I get back to the bar the food is still on the tray on the back part of the bar. I gave him his soup and bread but instead of passing out the food that's still sitting on the tray I decide to clean up the mess on the floor which means that I get to go back to the kitchen and grab a broom and dust pan (I'm completely safety conscious--Fagioli soup is a slip hazard and blah blah) I come back in Dragon Lady had her food (I hope you enjoyed seeing it sit there bitch) and we get the mess cleaned up. When S threw some water on the floor and the broke glass bucket falls over. Seriously, it was a good twenty minutes of just cleaning stupid shit. So we now get that cleaned up and S is bringing over another bottle to put in our bucket when it somehow slips out of his hand and smashes on the other side of the bar. Luckily we had some regulars sitting there so they just make big jokes out of it. Between me and them we grounded S from going near the door to the kitchen or carrying anything. I went back to the kitchen grabbed the broom and dustpan to clean the bar again. And that's that for the Keystone Barkeeps. Dragon Lady decides on desert so S is getting that and I get desert for another party. When we both are in the kitchen we hear the backdoor bell ring, he looks at me and I said, "I'm so not dealing with that bitch in there we'll both go smoke and I will just ask C to watch the bar for us." C agrees once I give her the rundown and while we're smoking she asks Dragon Lady if she needs anything--no but then Dragon Lady tells C, "thanks for acknowledging us"
I realize this is a dig on me. I refuse to, remember you cost me money you no longer exist and I'm pretty sure S started ninja serving your rude ass. And even if he hasn't started that we just spent 30 min breaking/dropping/and cleaning up the messes (but evidently we did that on purpose *eye roll*). Our manager that was working the kitchen came up around then and cashed Dragon Lady out, and I guess our performance was so stellar she decided not to tip--no surprise anyways.
As far as nights go it was a good shift, even with that fiasco we each still made 50; and i broke a bill before the end of it.
Labels:
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Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Gee that's nice
Went out last night and got the creepy/insult combo pick up line. My friend and I are talking to the bartenders and this guy comes up stands on the other side of her and starts talking to me.
stranger: "so i don't think i'm good enough for your friend....she's just to good for me....i'd like to get to know you though"
me: thinking to self great what a way to wow me that's so sweet...*half smile
stranger: "so tomorrow if you'll be here i'd like to try this again when i'm more sober"
i focus in on my friend's conversation with the bartender but dud catches my eye again and starts in on how i'm moving soon and how he can find a job anywhere...gas station attendant, construction, blah blah, and if i have family over there then they can help find something--still not sure if he was referring to them helping him or me... but seriously dud i just met you last night, in fact i didn't even talk to you until you started hitting on me because my friend is too good for you. thanks for that by the way. and after just meeting me your ready to move 200 miles away? ick, don't start on that--and don't tell me about how you stopped here on your way through to somewhere else because your son started a family here. again ick, i'm 26 and i don't have a daddy complex the oldest guy that i'm willing to date is 36. ugh!
stranger: "so i don't think i'm good enough for your friend....she's just to good for me....i'd like to get to know you though"
me: thinking to self great what a way to wow me that's so sweet...*half smile
stranger: "so tomorrow if you'll be here i'd like to try this again when i'm more sober"
i focus in on my friend's conversation with the bartender but dud catches my eye again and starts in on how i'm moving soon and how he can find a job anywhere...gas station attendant, construction, blah blah, and if i have family over there then they can help find something--still not sure if he was referring to them helping him or me... but seriously dud i just met you last night, in fact i didn't even talk to you until you started hitting on me because my friend is too good for you. thanks for that by the way. and after just meeting me your ready to move 200 miles away? ick, don't start on that--and don't tell me about how you stopped here on your way through to somewhere else because your son started a family here. again ick, i'm 26 and i don't have a daddy complex the oldest guy that i'm willing to date is 36. ugh!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Woot! Woot!!
Busy night tonight :-) Great thing didn't happen until the end of the night. Normally about five minutes till close we have Dog Guy come in. He's nice-well as nice as someone can be who comes in that late-but he buys his meal then gets two steaks and six chicken breasts for his dog. I know kinda crazy but dog evidently saved Guy's life from a mugger so I can understand. He comes in his check comes to about $80 or so normally and he tips anywhere from $30-$40. He also stays about an hour but for that I will definitely stay :-)
And call it karma but Killjoy got stiffed *evil grin*. She gets these people that smell horribly. One of them is Look-like-a-man. She evidently had cancer and the chemo made her gain a lot of weight and hair growth. She also uses this as an excuse to not have good hygiene...I have no clue what her husbands excuse is. Now I could have been really mean and not told Killjoy that she most likely wouldn't get a tip but then...Well anyway, I tell her and I tell her how their tip scale is. $2 on anything is their version of you-fuckin-rock and then unfortunately they request you as their server from then on. Whatever change would round the bill up to the next whole dollar (so if it's --.45 and they leave .55) means your a great server but they won't request you or anything and then most the time they just don't tip. It's not because they are poor; they are just that kind of people. Anyways so I tell her and she goes and takes care of them on the gamble that she'll get the tip (I neglected to say the requesting part) but at then end when she gets their $100 tab she sees no tip...darn sorry Killjoy maybe you won't be such a miserable fun sucker at work tomorrow...I could only hope anyways
And call it karma but Killjoy got stiffed *evil grin*. She gets these people that smell horribly. One of them is Look-like-a-man. She evidently had cancer and the chemo made her gain a lot of weight and hair growth. She also uses this as an excuse to not have good hygiene...I have no clue what her husbands excuse is. Now I could have been really mean and not told Killjoy that she most likely wouldn't get a tip but then...Well anyway, I tell her and I tell her how their tip scale is. $2 on anything is their version of you-fuckin-rock and then unfortunately they request you as their server from then on. Whatever change would round the bill up to the next whole dollar (so if it's --.45 and they leave .55) means your a great server but they won't request you or anything and then most the time they just don't tip. It's not because they are poor; they are just that kind of people. Anyways so I tell her and she goes and takes care of them on the gamble that she'll get the tip (I neglected to say the requesting part) but at then end when she gets their $100 tab she sees no tip...darn sorry Killjoy maybe you won't be such a miserable fun sucker at work tomorrow...I could only hope anyways
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Frenemies
Really? I know you told Neighbor that shit because it would get back to me, I 'm not dumb like you apparently think I am. Fact is, Humpback, that I don't talk about you disrespectfully. All that shit that you told me while we were friends that you don't want others knowing--I still don't talk about it, I don't even make jokes about it...that's your game. Stop involving me in your drama--that is the reason we aren't friends anymore...not some misguided notion that you think I wanted to fuck you....*sound of disgust* egh....sometimes I really hate people...
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Dream
Have you ever had a dream where when you wake up you start to dissect it? The other night I had a dream where this kid started messing with these killer bees. Well, when I woke up I realized they couldn't be killer bees because they weren't in a hive, it was more like a wasps nest. Also, I out ran them by running around the house and the six times (three on one arm and I have no clue about the other three, I just know I got them)I got stung didn't trigger the whole swarm frenzy.
$$
Had an amazing weekend. If the rest of the month could be like this weekend was financially then I won't stress over bills; which will be nice for once...
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Ugh...
I really hate stupid hosts, now I'm not saying that all hosts are dumb but one of our hosts that worked tonight failed the serving tests twice (training is five days long and there is a test basically each day) and then went on to fail the host tests (the floorchart test is the same one she took both weeks of her server training, then as a host she took it six different times). Our training is not that difficult, it doesn't change really because the same few people train and there is a book that tells us exactly what to go over. This is all beside the point though because I didn't have an issue with her tonight, my issue was with the lady doing lead....
I'll just call her Oi, since that seems to be her catch phrase....anyway, I was working in our bar area which consists of the bar top and seven booths...my service partner and I each take three tables and rotate the fourth out or have the bartenders pick it up (because in my restaurant no one is allowed to have more than three working tables at once) recently our corporate bosses decided to change the way the bar works. It's now open seating where before it was in the host rotation. Ok the key wording here is OPEN SEATING. Oi decides that since tonight is big party night that my service partner and I will be taking a ten top at the last two tables since they can be pushed together...Ok no big deal, that is until she has the one open table capped so noone can sit there (I have guests getting ready to leave at the other one) and tells guests that only the bartop is currently open seating...this puts my service partner with three tables and me with two. She now wants me to wait at least another 20 minutes before my partner drops a check (because every seven people we have to add a server (and my partner had just gotten all three tables)) before I get a table....this doesn't fly---not on my server wage....I go up to the host stand and tell them to figure something out because I'm not waiting 20 minutes and running two tables only...she shrugs and ignores me and the other host that was there asks about letting a bartender take it with me...I tell them I don't care who my partner is but I'm not waiting for a table....after I leave the host stand my service partner is getting change from the togo person (the togo area is the host are also) and they both see Oi tell four different tables that they can't sit in the booths...according to Oi only the bartop--not the booths that consist of the bar--is open seating. Service partner has now dropped a check and can take the table with me, togo girl tells me what was said, and the table is now set up. I went to the manager and told him what was going on, service partner comes up and confirms and also lets him know he dropped a check and can take it; I walk back up to the host stand the table is completely ready and ask if I need to go ahead and show them to the table or if another host is going to walk them back---she starts trying to tell me who my service partner is ( this has already been discussed and decided and all parties informed on whats going on). I lost my temper at this point--not that I had been calm before but I had been collected and logical...but I interrupted her which I rarely do and I think it startled her, I told her that all of that had been discussed and wasn't my concern anymore...my concern was getting this table sat...."oh it's ready? set up and everything?"....Christ! yes it is all I need is the last five menus and the party...she tries to send over a host to make sure I'm not lying (from the host stand you can see the table)...so I walk halfway across the bar again, check the table again, tell her again to page the party and grab five menus...she finally does page them, I go and check my other table since at this point I'm down to one, I get them their refills and look back at the ten and holy! fuckin! christ! they just squeezed 13 people to a table that really is perfect for 8 but can squeeze ten....poor Test Failure...she actually thought about this and looked at me and asked if they would be comfortable (if my mind hadn't been gearing up for the guests I probably would have been shocked that she actually had a logical thought) I told her it was ultimately the guests decision and if we had somewhere else to sit them to let me know. The guests for their part seemed perfectly happy with there table (no condescending comments or looks)...service partner and I greet the table and as we are getting the drinks for everybody Oi strikes again....because at this point she is now offering the bar (booths included) again...we grab the manager and ask him since the bar seems to be open seating again (which he then stops us and says it never wasn't and Oi was wrong (extremely satisfied evil type chuckle)) we both give him this bland stare and ask if he will at least go get the drink order for the people who just sat down (a few sarcastic comments about if he know how to do a wine presentation (where I tell him to offer a certain one because it's like silk in the mouth and service partner tells him to offer a certain beer because of its nice creamy head)) and he goes off to greet the table. We drop off the drinks and at this point we split up; service partner takes care of the two tables that have sat down and I start taking care of the party (totally not standards btw). Every time I walk past the host stand to go to the kitchen Oi asks if she can offer the bar some more and every time I have a valid reason of why she can't ( I do so love when I'm right about something and management backs me up).
At this point I'm going to clarify again that I didn't care about getting the party--I was there to make money not just jack around--but the circumstances around getting the table sat pissed me off...Bitching about the host stand is one thing but when it starts getting personal I try to back up the hosts and tell people to lay off--we don't know why decisions are made the way they are unless we're up there with them and most the time that's not the case--but as a host you are paid hourly, don't fuck with my money...if I have an issue with something that you're doing I will be as professional as possible when I address you, if for some reason I can't speak without being a raging bitch then I will go to a manager; that's what their salary is for.
And in the end the table and my passive-aggressive-you-can't-because worked into my favor the party left basically what the gratuity was so me and service partner were able to split a sweet tip.
oh and the table I had before the party sat down....fuck you guys.....24 cent tip....I might take it personally but every other tip was at least 20% so evidently you are just fucking teenagers; thanks though I will definitely remember you next time you come in and stop by your table a few times with the smirk that will make you look at your food and wonder....I wouldn't ever mess with someones food (that's just horrible and beneath most people) but I do find a certain joy when you realize that I remember you and your shitty tip and you suddenly remember all those stories...
I'll just call her Oi, since that seems to be her catch phrase....anyway, I was working in our bar area which consists of the bar top and seven booths...my service partner and I each take three tables and rotate the fourth out or have the bartenders pick it up (because in my restaurant no one is allowed to have more than three working tables at once) recently our corporate bosses decided to change the way the bar works. It's now open seating where before it was in the host rotation. Ok the key wording here is OPEN SEATING. Oi decides that since tonight is big party night that my service partner and I will be taking a ten top at the last two tables since they can be pushed together...Ok no big deal, that is until she has the one open table capped so noone can sit there (I have guests getting ready to leave at the other one) and tells guests that only the bartop is currently open seating...this puts my service partner with three tables and me with two. She now wants me to wait at least another 20 minutes before my partner drops a check (because every seven people we have to add a server (and my partner had just gotten all three tables)) before I get a table....this doesn't fly---not on my server wage....I go up to the host stand and tell them to figure something out because I'm not waiting 20 minutes and running two tables only...she shrugs and ignores me and the other host that was there asks about letting a bartender take it with me...I tell them I don't care who my partner is but I'm not waiting for a table....after I leave the host stand my service partner is getting change from the togo person (the togo area is the host are also) and they both see Oi tell four different tables that they can't sit in the booths...according to Oi only the bartop--not the booths that consist of the bar--is open seating. Service partner has now dropped a check and can take the table with me, togo girl tells me what was said, and the table is now set up. I went to the manager and told him what was going on, service partner comes up and confirms and also lets him know he dropped a check and can take it; I walk back up to the host stand the table is completely ready and ask if I need to go ahead and show them to the table or if another host is going to walk them back---she starts trying to tell me who my service partner is ( this has already been discussed and decided and all parties informed on whats going on). I lost my temper at this point--not that I had been calm before but I had been collected and logical...but I interrupted her which I rarely do and I think it startled her, I told her that all of that had been discussed and wasn't my concern anymore...my concern was getting this table sat...."oh it's ready? set up and everything?"....Christ! yes it is all I need is the last five menus and the party...she tries to send over a host to make sure I'm not lying (from the host stand you can see the table)...so I walk halfway across the bar again, check the table again, tell her again to page the party and grab five menus...she finally does page them, I go and check my other table since at this point I'm down to one, I get them their refills and look back at the ten and holy! fuckin! christ! they just squeezed 13 people to a table that really is perfect for 8 but can squeeze ten....poor Test Failure...she actually thought about this and looked at me and asked if they would be comfortable (if my mind hadn't been gearing up for the guests I probably would have been shocked that she actually had a logical thought) I told her it was ultimately the guests decision and if we had somewhere else to sit them to let me know. The guests for their part seemed perfectly happy with there table (no condescending comments or looks)...service partner and I greet the table and as we are getting the drinks for everybody Oi strikes again....because at this point she is now offering the bar (booths included) again...we grab the manager and ask him since the bar seems to be open seating again (which he then stops us and says it never wasn't and Oi was wrong (extremely satisfied evil type chuckle)) we both give him this bland stare and ask if he will at least go get the drink order for the people who just sat down (a few sarcastic comments about if he know how to do a wine presentation (where I tell him to offer a certain one because it's like silk in the mouth and service partner tells him to offer a certain beer because of its nice creamy head)) and he goes off to greet the table. We drop off the drinks and at this point we split up; service partner takes care of the two tables that have sat down and I start taking care of the party (totally not standards btw). Every time I walk past the host stand to go to the kitchen Oi asks if she can offer the bar some more and every time I have a valid reason of why she can't ( I do so love when I'm right about something and management backs me up).
At this point I'm going to clarify again that I didn't care about getting the party--I was there to make money not just jack around--but the circumstances around getting the table sat pissed me off...Bitching about the host stand is one thing but when it starts getting personal I try to back up the hosts and tell people to lay off--we don't know why decisions are made the way they are unless we're up there with them and most the time that's not the case--but as a host you are paid hourly, don't fuck with my money...if I have an issue with something that you're doing I will be as professional as possible when I address you, if for some reason I can't speak without being a raging bitch then I will go to a manager; that's what their salary is for.
And in the end the table and my passive-aggressive-you-can't-because worked into my favor the party left basically what the gratuity was so me and service partner were able to split a sweet tip.
oh and the table I had before the party sat down....fuck you guys.....24 cent tip....I might take it personally but every other tip was at least 20% so evidently you are just fucking teenagers; thanks though I will definitely remember you next time you come in and stop by your table a few times with the smirk that will make you look at your food and wonder....I wouldn't ever mess with someones food (that's just horrible and beneath most people) but I do find a certain joy when you realize that I remember you and your shitty tip and you suddenly remember all those stories...
Thursday, July 8, 2010
CRASH!!
hehe. No that has nothing to do with work (it was busy though). About thirty minutes after my bar shift started tonight it started down pouring and there was a wreck out on the highway near us, didn't look like anyone was hurt. We ended up getting friggin' slammed--and there I was post allergy day where I always feel like I'm walking through sludge. Had a decent day regardless though I ended up walking with 80 and some change.
Friday, July 2, 2010
muhwhahahahahhahahaha
When you go out to eat do you ever feel like just maybe your server is trying to piss you off?
me:hi ladies how are we doing today?...(your good reply)...well, my name is A---
lady guest: (interrupting) do you have any REAL sweet & low, or is it just this generic crap?
me: well ma'am i'm pretty sure that is REAL sweet & low, just in our packaging
lg: *blank stare
me: so can i get you anything to drink today?
lg: well i did want tea but since you don't know what this (punctuated with you throwing the packet back to the sugar caddy) is i guess (now sounding truly put upon) i'll just have Coke
me: alrighty i will be right back with yall's drinks
Here's the thing lady I don't know if you noticed but when you sat down I came up and greeted your table and took your order. This obviously means that I wait tables. Which (smart people please bear with me) mean that I DON'T make any big decisions about what our corporation carries....now back to the table with drinks (i also have drinks on my tray for the other two table that sat down, drop all the drinks off and come back to get orders)...
lg's friend: i'll have (orders a dish that comes with salad or soup can chooses salad)
me: and ma'am what can i get for you today
lg: i'll have the (orders an appetizer that does not come with anything)
me: ok would you like to add a salad with that today?
lg: no i'm fine
me: alright then i will just get this in for yall,(turn to friend) i will be right back with your salad
go grab the other orders from my other tables and at this point i also have people sitting at the bar who i get their orders for, get a coworker to help grab those drinks while i go make 5 salads and bread for eveybody head back out...
me: (as i'm dropping her friends salad) can i go ahead and get you ladies anything else
lg: this Coke, there is something wrong with it...it's just blech (with the icky face)
me: ok would you like me to try the other drink station or would you prefer something else
lg: no i guess just go with water (sounding very put upon because we carry generic crap and icky coke)
me: i'll be right back with that for you (drop the rest of my salads make sure everyone else is good(luckily they are) go get her water and bring it out and low and behold she's eating salad)
Here's another thing, I point blank asked if you wanted salad and you said no, this means that your friend gets unlimited refills on her salad but you don't get any. So now I'm watching and notice that you eat half of it (a couple of bites I would have ignored) I now have more guests and everything is starting to get hectic but i do notice that you two are low on bread and your friend did give me the heads up to "keep it comin" so I come out with your next basket of bread...
me: here's fresh bread for you and I checked on your food it should be out momentarily
lg: can we get another salad? with more dressing this time you didn't put enough on last time (with the attitude, really?!)
me: (at this point i'm really busy but still polite(and normally i do tell them that they would have an additional charge but i didn't feel like i had the time to sit there and explain while dealing with more condescension so decide to not let them know and let a manager deal with it(and now i know my tip is gone because they are going to dispute the charge but i refuse to loose my job over three dollars))) i will be right back with that ma'am anything else while i'm back there?
lg: no
k so I go and do another round to all my tables and guests, thank god my manager, texas, (the one with bar experience) is there because I haven't been behind the bar to make drinks in 10 minutes or so. bring everything out. Their food ends up following me to the table. fast forward to the end of the meal...
me: hey texas, i just wanna give you a heads up that 111 is going to be unhappy that i charged them for her add salad
texas: did you let them know about it before you did it
me: no i've been running around....ok really i just didn't want to deal with the attitude (she's been by this table and had to deal with the condescension so she know where i'm coming from on that point)
texas: see you should have let them know that's where yall mess up....blah blah *lecture, how much did she eat?
me: about half and she said no when i point blanks asked about the salad with her appetizer
i'm tired of typing now so long story short they aren't happy with the bill she explains that the first salad two people can eat without being charged for an extra one (as long as one of them orders something that comes with salad) but once they order a refill they have to be charged, and at this point they decide i am a bad server very not pleasant (now remember she's been by the table a few times and they never had any complaints about my attitude just our gross coke and generic crap) and they stiff me....but you know what it's ok, at least i make an hourly wage (since i was clocked in as a bartender) and i got a little light revenge on a condescending attitude....
me:hi ladies how are we doing today?...(your good reply)...well, my name is A---
lady guest: (interrupting) do you have any REAL sweet & low, or is it just this generic crap?
me: well ma'am i'm pretty sure that is REAL sweet & low, just in our packaging
lg: *blank stare
me: so can i get you anything to drink today?
lg: well i did want tea but since you don't know what this (punctuated with you throwing the packet back to the sugar caddy) is i guess (now sounding truly put upon) i'll just have Coke
me: alrighty i will be right back with yall's drinks
Here's the thing lady I don't know if you noticed but when you sat down I came up and greeted your table and took your order. This obviously means that I wait tables. Which (smart people please bear with me) mean that I DON'T make any big decisions about what our corporation carries....now back to the table with drinks (i also have drinks on my tray for the other two table that sat down, drop all the drinks off and come back to get orders)...
lg's friend: i'll have (orders a dish that comes with salad or soup can chooses salad)
me: and ma'am what can i get for you today
lg: i'll have the (orders an appetizer that does not come with anything)
me: ok would you like to add a salad with that today?
lg: no i'm fine
me: alright then i will just get this in for yall,(turn to friend) i will be right back with your salad
go grab the other orders from my other tables and at this point i also have people sitting at the bar who i get their orders for, get a coworker to help grab those drinks while i go make 5 salads and bread for eveybody head back out...
me: (as i'm dropping her friends salad) can i go ahead and get you ladies anything else
lg: this Coke, there is something wrong with it...it's just blech (with the icky face)
me: ok would you like me to try the other drink station or would you prefer something else
lg: no i guess just go with water (sounding very put upon because we carry generic crap and icky coke)
me: i'll be right back with that for you (drop the rest of my salads make sure everyone else is good(luckily they are) go get her water and bring it out and low and behold she's eating salad)
Here's another thing, I point blank asked if you wanted salad and you said no, this means that your friend gets unlimited refills on her salad but you don't get any. So now I'm watching and notice that you eat half of it (a couple of bites I would have ignored) I now have more guests and everything is starting to get hectic but i do notice that you two are low on bread and your friend did give me the heads up to "keep it comin" so I come out with your next basket of bread...
me: here's fresh bread for you and I checked on your food it should be out momentarily
lg: can we get another salad? with more dressing this time you didn't put enough on last time (with the attitude, really?!)
me: (at this point i'm really busy but still polite(and normally i do tell them that they would have an additional charge but i didn't feel like i had the time to sit there and explain while dealing with more condescension so decide to not let them know and let a manager deal with it(and now i know my tip is gone because they are going to dispute the charge but i refuse to loose my job over three dollars))) i will be right back with that ma'am anything else while i'm back there?
lg: no
k so I go and do another round to all my tables and guests, thank god my manager, texas, (the one with bar experience) is there because I haven't been behind the bar to make drinks in 10 minutes or so. bring everything out. Their food ends up following me to the table. fast forward to the end of the meal...
me: hey texas, i just wanna give you a heads up that 111 is going to be unhappy that i charged them for her add salad
texas: did you let them know about it before you did it
me: no i've been running around....ok really i just didn't want to deal with the attitude (she's been by this table and had to deal with the condescension so she know where i'm coming from on that point)
texas: see you should have let them know that's where yall mess up....blah blah *lecture, how much did she eat?
me: about half and she said no when i point blanks asked about the salad with her appetizer
i'm tired of typing now so long story short they aren't happy with the bill she explains that the first salad two people can eat without being charged for an extra one (as long as one of them orders something that comes with salad) but once they order a refill they have to be charged, and at this point they decide i am a bad server very not pleasant (now remember she's been by the table a few times and they never had any complaints about my attitude just our gross coke and generic crap) and they stiff me....but you know what it's ok, at least i make an hourly wage (since i was clocked in as a bartender) and i got a little light revenge on a condescending attitude....
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