Little Things and Little People

Here lately I have been picking up a serving shift here and there because I'm about to switch my hours and am trying to stockpile some money--working two jobs, with no day off, to try to make ends meet sucks ass but at my year mark at the Psych Hospital I will be able to enjoy one day off a week (YAY!!). But until August I will have to suck it up and work my hind end off . Plus I have also decided that to preserve my sanity I should request one weekend off a month--and so far it has worked. However, back to the topis of the post.

I'm serving today and it's a typical Tuesday shift, you know, while taking care of tables and making sure that they don't walk out without paying the servers are also supposed to make all endless salads that are ordered, get the bread, the soup, the ice, the glasses....well to stop there about the only thing we don't have to do is wash dishes, cook entrees, and seat guests. I will also cop to not being on my A-game today...not that I was horrible, I wasn't but I was definitely struggling when I don't feel I should have been.

So, like I said, I was serving today and just kept getting the triple stagger...you know, you get one table go get their drinks and as you come out you have another table, so you go get those drinks and maybe this time make it aaaaallllll the way to the kitchen (if your lucky) to get salads/soup/bread/or some combination there of, and when you get back there is another table for you to greet. And of course with this being skeleton crew day you don't ring any of the food or drinks you just got in before you get them to the table...no you do this after because your the one having to make the shit you need to get the tables started.  In this whole fuck-me-why-did-I-forget-this-about-Tuesday-morning-shifts day I get a 5 top. I go up to greet them and go through the spiel. Anyways long story short, everything about this table seemed to take way longer than it would any other day of the week...getting the glasses together for their drinks, getting their orders (because "yes we're ready...oh I'll um, can you tell me about this, um...etc) so when I go to the kitchen we're out of 3 of our 4 soups and of course the soup I need is the one that takes the longest of those 3. I called for soup and made the salads I needed for that table and a different table (aren't I efficient, taking care of multiple tables...jeez, it's almost like I've done this a million times or something) and getting the bread (that I get to refill because by golly we're out) so that process has taken me maybe 3-5 minutes and the soups still haven't made an appearance. I go to the back of the kitchen and none of them are made...I interrupt the kitchen guys from their horseplay and tell them that I would help them out but I can't tell which of the bags in the boiling water are the soups I need....they proceed to ignore me and I go bitch to the morning to-go person who goes to the back to get the soups (she's so awesome...she didn't even trash me and tell them I was bitching, because she totally could have and I wouldn't have even known) I, in the meantime, take out my two trays of other food and stop by the 5 top to let the one guy who got soup instead of salad that we didn't have that particular one and ask if he wanted to switch. He declined, said he would wait, and I told the rest of the table that the kitchen would definitely have some when his entree was ready. I check my other tables and rush to the back to see that the cook is finally bringing up the soup I need. I get the guy his soup and all is well.

After two trips around my section the 5 flag me down:
Lady in seat 2: "Um, are we going to get our soups??"
Me: "Well, since this gentleman ordered an entree I must have mistakenly assumed that you would all like to eat together....would you like me to go ahead and bring out soups?"
Guy in seat 1: "Yes, if you don't mind that would be great, thanks"
Me: "Sir, would you like another soup as you wait on your entree?"
Guy in seat 4: "Yes that would be great"
and the whole time I'm at the table the lady is just letting out sighs like I'm putting her out by not jumping to her whiny command (bitch, I'm a server not a servant and also already told you that your soup would be ready by the time his entree was done)...really had it not been for her the whole table would have been fantastic...or at least a normal table, but every time I stopped by I had to interrupt her if I had questions for anyone (she was also the one who was "ready" to order). Fast forward to one of the trips to the kitchen where I'm getting refill salads for the 5 and waiting on my manager to get some non-burnt bread for us, and while I'm getting my bread refills the manager has gone out to the floor and made her way to the 5 who is evidently complaining that I'm taking too long and that they need refill of (everything I guess). So I'm at the table passing out their bread and salad when manager comes back by with soups and a second salad. I tell her (the manager) thanks for the soups and that this was the table she was helping me about 20 seconds ago with in the kitchen. I proceed to drop everything off and prebus what I can--before I walk back to the kitchen again I specifically stop at this table and make sure they are ok.

However, what do they tell the manager? That service is taking too long and that they aren't happy...Wait, what? Evidently, in the 5 seconds between me leaving my section and the manager coming through they have chugged all their soups (again) and one lady somehow hadn't gotten a refill on the one she wanted. Um, first when I left everyone still had full bowls of soup. And the one lady who hadn't gotten a refill hadn't gotten one because, yes you guessed it she still had a full bowl....I go out there and everybody is completely hunky-dorie and not a word (or gesture) to signify that they are unhappy in any way.

In the end they are offered desserts (which 3 accept), still tip me 20%, and the manager decides that I had been doing everything right and that I could with what was going on.



And now....How The Little Things Make A Difference:

Having eye contact made when you are speaking with your server
This way we know you can see that we are humans, and have some sort of value in this slice of your life-time

Saying please and thank you
Really, this just proves that you have manners and that again you value us as people

Using our name
No, don't use it as the period of your sentences...that shit is annoying, but I won't object if you use it a couple of times...like at the end of the meal when I'm thanking you for coming and you say "thanks for lunch it was really good, A" or some such sentiment. It gives me this warm feeling inside that I think most people call "humanity" ...or something.

Teaching your offspring manners
It makes me truly want to interact with your kiddos and grandkiddos when they are polite and well behaved...and is a lesson that all too many parents don't want to teach their crotchspring

Combine all of these and I will not only go above and beyond to ensure your meal exceeds you expectations but I will also be sincere when I interact with you at any time this visit but especially when I say "Please, come back and see me any time, it will be a pleasure" (or some such farewell)....also I will go to every server in the area and let them know that when they see you to give you fan-fucking-tastic service and not just robot-ninja-service (not that I have to, because if you were to sit in their section next time the fact of how nice and sincere and how you treat us like people who bleed red will snap them out of robot-ninja-server mode)

And when one table does all of the above and tips 20%?...Well, I don't know which god I gave a quickie but thank you. Please let more tables like this come in and sit in my section.

And lastly, table who did these things for me....I just want to thank you the way I should have when you waved at me in the parking lot (in recognition even) when I was leaving today. If I had feelings they would have been warm and mushy from being treated like a person.

You really want me to notice you? Fuck. You.

Before I go into vent mode let me just say that Dog Guy came in and I got to take care of him, which made my night (Yay!) Money wise tonight was bueno but once he sat in my section the night was fantastico. :-)    Now to the venting...

Evidently there are currently two or three sports tournaments in town. That's great for the old bank account so I'm not going to bitch about that because for the most part I've had decent guests....until tonight anyways. Two ladies sit down at the bar and one of them asked if they could get the spot wiped up...ok not a big deal it was just water from a glass being slid over that I hadn't had time to get to yet...so my partner wipes the spot for them while I grab their menus. Once I hand them the menus Dragon Lady goes to put her's down and rips it back up off the bar and makes the comment, "*snort of disgust* Come on! if you guys can't do better than this then I will just get a manager!"...umm Lady we keep our towel in a sani bucket instead of a pile somewhere on the bar because it's more sanitary. Not only that but we just wiped the spot you sat at (there was a clean and dry spot two chairs down that she could have chosen but whatever) so yes its going to still be a little damp (and damp is the key word, because since you chose to sit there we ring the towel out as good as possible). And lastly, you do not have to threaten to get my manager I would be more than happy to go get him so you can tell him how evil we are for not cleaning up the recently vacated spot immediately and how by using a towel it was still damp--just to let you know lady our busser's towels are absolutely disgusting they only get put in a sani bucket maybe three times during a shift...but if you would like I will get you one of those towels that have been used on multiple tables and highchairs without being rinsed out just so your spot can be nice and dry...............ok now back to the story, at this point I just raise my eyebrows at the threat and tell her that the best I can currently do is give her some napkins.  Now I understand that because I am a bartender that somehow means that I'm beneath you. I don't like it, but I can tolerate it. You will be the guest that gets ninja service and every time I go to the kitchen you will be called various animal/body part combos. I let the other bartender take point on her because hey I'm closing and don't have to deal with it.  I go back to well and start making all the server drinks that are coming in, once I get caught up I notice two ladies standing in the space next to Dragon Lady. I greet them and one tells me it's the others birthday. I tell her happy birthday and said, "since it's you b-day that means you want a lemon drop shot right?" she grins real big because that was evidently her drink of choice back in the day (score for me)  they also order various other drinks. I am in the process of making the order when the guest talking to her friend says something about how she wishes she had a different voice--now there really isn't anything wrong with her voice, it's just kinda on the loud side--and then Dragon Lady decides to open her mouth and comments, "yeah I agree. It is really annoying"---fuckin bitch I was thinking, on my face was pure shock; because why the fuck do you have to be so rude to someone who is obviously not staying at the bar just ordering drinks? the Birthday Lady looked at her to see if maybe lady was just joking or something and then this look of shock/hurt comes over her face...I'm really proud of Birthday Lady because all she did was say, "well I will be gone soon and you won't have to deal with me in your ear." and it was true all she was waiting on was her lemon drop. I almost wish she had pitched a fit then Dragon Lady would have gone bye-bye. Birthday Lady does end up walking away and sent her husband over to get her shot (which I immediately made as a double, sort of as my own apology)

Like I said, up until that point Dragon Lady was receiving ninja service from  me. Then you fucking bitch you screwed up my tip from Birthday Lady. Me and her were clicking enough that I know me and my partner would have split at least five. You, ass-fucking-cunt, dropped my tip down to a measly $2. You fuck with my money I don't pay attention to you. It really is that simple. My partner is the one who actually is taking care of you so I know you will still get service but you don't exist in my world anymore.

After witnessing that I was really irate--I've calmed since (yeah this is me  more calm)--I saw my manager walk by and I hollered his name; when he came back to the bar window I told him that I needed to speak with him in the kitchen in about five.  Then came the Keystone Barkeeps. I broke a bottle of Martin&Rossi Asti. We get that cleaned and we both go into the kitchen grab all the things we need to take care of various guests. We each go grab a tray, I got stuck telling the manager in the kitchen what just happened--because if Cuntalicious Dragon Lady is gonna complain the manager will know what the hell is going on before they get there.  I come into the bar just in time to see S drop his tray of food--all over him. I can't help it I started laughing, every single guest is laughing except for Dragon Lady and her friend (it's not their food that fell, it's the tray I'm carrying) I put my tray down and tell S that I'm going to go get the stuff he just dropped and here is his tray of food--at the time I didn't know for sure it was Dragon Lady's but time wise it matched up to when her order should have been coming out--I go back to the kitchen and grab the soup and bread sticks he just dropped and when I get back to the bar the food is still on the tray on the back part of the bar. I gave him his soup and bread but instead of passing out the food that's still sitting on the tray I decide to clean up the mess on the floor which means that I get to go back to the kitchen and grab a broom and dust pan (I'm completely safety conscious--Fagioli soup is a slip hazard and blah blah) I come back in Dragon Lady had her food (I hope you enjoyed seeing it sit there bitch) and we get the mess cleaned up. When S threw some water on the floor and the broke glass bucket falls over. Seriously, it was a good twenty minutes of just cleaning stupid shit. So we now get that cleaned up and S is bringing over another bottle to put in our bucket when it somehow slips out of his hand and smashes on the other side of the bar. Luckily we had some regulars sitting there so they just make big jokes out of it.  Between me and them we grounded S from going near the door to the kitchen or carrying anything. I went back to the kitchen grabbed the broom and dustpan to clean the bar again.  And that's that for the Keystone Barkeeps.  Dragon Lady decides on desert so S is getting that and I get desert for another party. When we both are in the kitchen we hear the backdoor bell ring, he looks at me and I said, "I'm so not dealing with that bitch in there we'll both go smoke and I will just ask C to watch the bar for us." C agrees once I give her the rundown and while we're smoking she asks Dragon Lady if she needs anything--no but then Dragon Lady tells C, "thanks for acknowledging us"

I realize this is a dig on me. I refuse to, remember you cost me money you no longer exist and I'm pretty sure S started ninja serving your rude ass. And even if he hasn't started that we just spent 30 min breaking/dropping/and cleaning up the messes (but evidently we did that on purpose *eye roll*). Our manager that was working the kitchen came up around then and cashed Dragon Lady out, and I guess our performance was so stellar she decided not to tip--no surprise anyways.

As far as nights go it was a good shift, even with that fiasco we each still made 50; and i broke a bill before the end of it.

Woot! Woot!!

Busy night tonight :-) Great thing didn't happen until the end of the night. Normally about five minutes till close we have Dog Guy come in. He's nice-well as nice as someone can be who comes in that late-but he buys his meal then gets two steaks and six chicken breasts for his dog. I know kinda crazy but dog evidently saved Guy's life from a mugger so I can understand. He comes in his check comes to about $80 or so normally and he tips anywhere from $30-$40. He also stays about an hour but for that I will definitely stay :-)  

And call it karma but Killjoy got stiffed *evil grin*.  She gets these people that smell horribly. One of them is Look-like-a-man. She evidently had cancer and the chemo made her gain a lot of weight and hair growth. She also uses this as an excuse to not have good hygiene...I have no clue what her husbands excuse is. Now I could have been really mean and not told Killjoy that she most likely wouldn't get a tip but then...Well anyway, I tell her and I tell her how their tip scale is. $2 on anything is their version of you-fuckin-rock and then unfortunately they request you as their server from then on. Whatever change would round the bill up to the next whole dollar (so if it's --.45 and they leave .55) means your a great server but they won't request you or anything and then most the time they just don't tip. It's not because they are poor; they are just that kind of people. Anyways so I tell her and she goes and takes care of them on the gamble that she'll get the tip (I neglected to say the requesting part)  but at then end when she gets their $100 tab she sees no tip...darn sorry Killjoy maybe you won't be such a miserable fun sucker at work tomorrow...I could only hope anyways

$$

Had an amazing weekend. If the rest of the month could be like this weekend was financially then I won't stress over bills; which will be nice for once...

Ugh...

I really hate stupid hosts, now I'm not saying that all hosts are dumb but one of our hosts that worked tonight failed the serving tests twice (training is five days long and there is a test basically each day) and then went on to fail the host tests (the floorchart test is the same one she took both weeks of her server training, then as a host she took it six different times). Our training is not that difficult, it doesn't change really because the same few people train and there is a book that tells us exactly what to go over. This is all beside the point though because I didn't have an issue with her tonight, my issue was with the lady doing lead....
I'll just call her Oi, since that seems to be her catch phrase....anyway, I was working in our bar area which consists of the bar top and seven booths...my service partner and I each take three tables and rotate the fourth out or have the bartenders pick it up (because in my restaurant no one is allowed to have more than three working tables at once) recently our corporate bosses decided to change the way the bar works. It's now open seating where before it was in the host rotation. Ok the key wording here is OPEN SEATING. Oi decides that since tonight is big party night that my service partner and I will be taking a ten top at the last two tables since they can be pushed together...Ok no big deal, that is until she has the one open table capped so noone can sit there (I have guests getting ready to leave at the other one) and tells guests that only the bartop is currently open seating...this puts my service partner with three tables and me with two. She now wants me to wait at least another 20 minutes before my partner drops a check (because every seven people we have to add a server (and my partner had just gotten all three tables)) before I get a table....this doesn't fly---not on my server wage....I go up to the host stand and tell them to figure something out because I'm not waiting 20 minutes and running two tables only...she shrugs and ignores me and the other host that was there asks about letting a bartender take it with me...I tell them I don't care who my partner is but I'm not waiting for a table....after I leave the host stand my service partner is getting change from the togo person (the togo area is the host are also) and they both see Oi tell four different tables that they can't sit in the booths...according to Oi only the bartop--not the booths that consist of the bar--is open seating. Service partner has now dropped a check and can take the table with me, togo girl tells me what was said, and the table is now set up. I went to the manager and told him what was going on, service partner comes up and confirms and also lets him know he dropped a check and can take it; I walk back up to the host stand the table is completely ready and ask if I need to go ahead and show them to the table or if another host is going to walk them back---she starts trying to tell me who my service partner is ( this has already been discussed and decided and all parties informed on whats going on). I lost my temper at this point--not that I had been calm before but I had been collected and logical...but I interrupted her which I rarely do and I think it startled her, I told her that all of that had been discussed and wasn't my concern anymore...my concern was getting this table sat...."oh it's ready? set up and everything?"....Christ! yes it is all I need is the last five menus and the party...she tries to send over a host to make sure I'm not lying (from the host stand you can see the table)...so I walk halfway across the bar again, check the table again, tell her again to page the party and grab five menus...she finally does page them, I go and check my other table since at this point I'm down to one, I get them their refills and look back at the ten and holy! fuckin! christ! they just squeezed 13 people to a table that really is perfect for 8 but can squeeze ten....poor Test Failure...she actually thought about this and looked at me and asked if they would be comfortable (if my mind hadn't been gearing up for the guests I probably would have been shocked that she actually had a logical thought) I told her it was ultimately the guests decision and if we had somewhere else to sit them to let me know.  The guests for their part seemed perfectly happy with there table (no condescending comments or looks)...service partner and I greet the table and as we are getting the drinks for everybody Oi strikes again....because at this point she is now offering the bar (booths included) again...we grab the manager and ask him since the bar seems to be open seating again (which he then stops us and says it never wasn't and Oi was wrong (extremely satisfied evil type chuckle)) we both give him this bland stare and ask if he will at least go get the drink order for the people who just sat down (a few sarcastic comments about if he know how to do a wine presentation (where I tell him to offer a certain one because it's like silk in the mouth and service partner tells him to offer a certain beer because of its nice creamy head)) and he goes off to greet the table.  We drop off the drinks and at this point we split up; service partner takes care of the two tables that have sat down and I start taking care of the party (totally not standards btw). Every time I walk past the host stand to go to the kitchen Oi asks if she can offer the bar some more and every time I have a valid reason of why she can't ( I do so love when I'm right about something and management backs me up).
At this point I'm going to clarify again that I didn't care about getting the party--I was there to make money not just jack around--but the circumstances around getting the table sat pissed me off...Bitching about the host stand is one thing but when it starts getting personal I try to back up the hosts and tell people to lay off--we don't know why decisions are made the way they are unless we're up there with them and most the time that's not the case--but as a host you are paid hourly, don't fuck with my money...if I have an issue with something that you're doing I will be as professional as possible when I address you, if for some reason I can't speak without being a raging bitch then I will go to a manager; that's what their salary is for.
And in the end the table and my passive-aggressive-you-can't-because worked into my favor the party left basically what the gratuity was so me and service partner were able to split a sweet tip.


oh and the table I had before the party sat down....fuck you guys.....24 cent tip....I might take it personally but every other tip was at least 20% so evidently you are just fucking teenagers; thanks though I will definitely remember you next time you come in and stop by your table a few times with the smirk that will make you look at your food and wonder....I wouldn't ever mess with someones food (that's just horrible and beneath most people) but I do find a certain joy when you realize that I remember you and your shitty tip and you suddenly remember all those stories...

Slooooooooooooowwwwww

Ugh...tonight me and the other bartender stood around doing nothing until 7:15. He had been there since four and I got there at five. So between 4 and 7 all we had done was made drinks for 15 tickets (yes we actually had time to count). Management wouldn't let him leave because they were afraid we would get to busy (yeah I get the fear but my wallet hates it) we never did though. We had a total of three guests sit down and for 45 minutes we had our little rush. After tip out we each only made 23 dollars....on a side note one of the couple that sat down made me laugh. Evidently one of our competitors serves and italian style meatloaf (had no clue about this) so when they sat down she looks over the  menu and asked if we had meatloaf tonight. I couldn't help it she got the you're-an-idiot look with a slight no head shake.  Her guy thought it was the funniest thing though...they were both great...the exact kind of guests we all want; super polite--every single time I set something down, no matter how sneaky I tried to do it, she always said thank you, when me or the other bartender would talk to them they would listen and actually look at us while we were speaking, and they tipped 25%. Fan-friggin-tastic... seriously the guests that always make the job worth it....