Ugh...

I really hate stupid hosts, now I'm not saying that all hosts are dumb but one of our hosts that worked tonight failed the serving tests twice (training is five days long and there is a test basically each day) and then went on to fail the host tests (the floorchart test is the same one she took both weeks of her server training, then as a host she took it six different times). Our training is not that difficult, it doesn't change really because the same few people train and there is a book that tells us exactly what to go over. This is all beside the point though because I didn't have an issue with her tonight, my issue was with the lady doing lead....
I'll just call her Oi, since that seems to be her catch phrase....anyway, I was working in our bar area which consists of the bar top and seven booths...my service partner and I each take three tables and rotate the fourth out or have the bartenders pick it up (because in my restaurant no one is allowed to have more than three working tables at once) recently our corporate bosses decided to change the way the bar works. It's now open seating where before it was in the host rotation. Ok the key wording here is OPEN SEATING. Oi decides that since tonight is big party night that my service partner and I will be taking a ten top at the last two tables since they can be pushed together...Ok no big deal, that is until she has the one open table capped so noone can sit there (I have guests getting ready to leave at the other one) and tells guests that only the bartop is currently open seating...this puts my service partner with three tables and me with two. She now wants me to wait at least another 20 minutes before my partner drops a check (because every seven people we have to add a server (and my partner had just gotten all three tables)) before I get a table....this doesn't fly---not on my server wage....I go up to the host stand and tell them to figure something out because I'm not waiting 20 minutes and running two tables only...she shrugs and ignores me and the other host that was there asks about letting a bartender take it with me...I tell them I don't care who my partner is but I'm not waiting for a table....after I leave the host stand my service partner is getting change from the togo person (the togo area is the host are also) and they both see Oi tell four different tables that they can't sit in the booths...according to Oi only the bartop--not the booths that consist of the bar--is open seating. Service partner has now dropped a check and can take the table with me, togo girl tells me what was said, and the table is now set up. I went to the manager and told him what was going on, service partner comes up and confirms and also lets him know he dropped a check and can take it; I walk back up to the host stand the table is completely ready and ask if I need to go ahead and show them to the table or if another host is going to walk them back---she starts trying to tell me who my service partner is ( this has already been discussed and decided and all parties informed on whats going on). I lost my temper at this point--not that I had been calm before but I had been collected and logical...but I interrupted her which I rarely do and I think it startled her, I told her that all of that had been discussed and wasn't my concern anymore...my concern was getting this table sat...."oh it's ready? set up and everything?"....Christ! yes it is all I need is the last five menus and the party...she tries to send over a host to make sure I'm not lying (from the host stand you can see the table)...so I walk halfway across the bar again, check the table again, tell her again to page the party and grab five menus...she finally does page them, I go and check my other table since at this point I'm down to one, I get them their refills and look back at the ten and holy! fuckin! christ! they just squeezed 13 people to a table that really is perfect for 8 but can squeeze ten....poor Test Failure...she actually thought about this and looked at me and asked if they would be comfortable (if my mind hadn't been gearing up for the guests I probably would have been shocked that she actually had a logical thought) I told her it was ultimately the guests decision and if we had somewhere else to sit them to let me know.  The guests for their part seemed perfectly happy with there table (no condescending comments or looks)...service partner and I greet the table and as we are getting the drinks for everybody Oi strikes again....because at this point she is now offering the bar (booths included) again...we grab the manager and ask him since the bar seems to be open seating again (which he then stops us and says it never wasn't and Oi was wrong (extremely satisfied evil type chuckle)) we both give him this bland stare and ask if he will at least go get the drink order for the people who just sat down (a few sarcastic comments about if he know how to do a wine presentation (where I tell him to offer a certain one because it's like silk in the mouth and service partner tells him to offer a certain beer because of its nice creamy head)) and he goes off to greet the table.  We drop off the drinks and at this point we split up; service partner takes care of the two tables that have sat down and I start taking care of the party (totally not standards btw). Every time I walk past the host stand to go to the kitchen Oi asks if she can offer the bar some more and every time I have a valid reason of why she can't ( I do so love when I'm right about something and management backs me up).
At this point I'm going to clarify again that I didn't care about getting the party--I was there to make money not just jack around--but the circumstances around getting the table sat pissed me off...Bitching about the host stand is one thing but when it starts getting personal I try to back up the hosts and tell people to lay off--we don't know why decisions are made the way they are unless we're up there with them and most the time that's not the case--but as a host you are paid hourly, don't fuck with my money...if I have an issue with something that you're doing I will be as professional as possible when I address you, if for some reason I can't speak without being a raging bitch then I will go to a manager; that's what their salary is for.
And in the end the table and my passive-aggressive-you-can't-because worked into my favor the party left basically what the gratuity was so me and service partner were able to split a sweet tip.


oh and the table I had before the party sat down....fuck you guys.....24 cent tip....I might take it personally but every other tip was at least 20% so evidently you are just fucking teenagers; thanks though I will definitely remember you next time you come in and stop by your table a few times with the smirk that will make you look at your food and wonder....I wouldn't ever mess with someones food (that's just horrible and beneath most people) but I do find a certain joy when you realize that I remember you and your shitty tip and you suddenly remember all those stories...

muhwhahahahahhahahaha

When you go out to eat do you ever feel like just maybe your server is trying to piss you off?
me:hi ladies how are we doing today?...(your good reply)...well, my name is A---
lady guest: (interrupting) do you have any REAL sweet & low, or is it just this generic crap?
me: well ma'am i'm pretty sure that is REAL sweet & low, just in our packaging
lg: *blank stare
me: so can i get you anything to drink today?
lg: well i did want tea but since you don't know what this (punctuated with you throwing the packet back to the sugar caddy) is i guess (now sounding truly put upon) i'll just have Coke
me: alrighty i will be right back with yall's drinks
Here's the thing lady I don't know if you noticed but when you sat down I came up and greeted your table and took your order. This obviously means that I wait tables. Which (smart people please bear with me) mean that I DON'T make any big decisions about what our corporation carries....now back to the table with drinks (i also have drinks on my tray for the other two table that sat down, drop all the drinks off and come back to get orders)...
lg's friend: i'll have (orders a dish that comes with salad or soup can chooses salad)
me: and ma'am what can i get for you today
lg: i'll have the (orders an appetizer that does not come with anything)
me: ok would you like to add a salad with that today?
lg: no i'm fine
me: alright then i will just get this in for yall,(turn to friend) i will be right back with your salad
go grab the other orders from my other tables and at this point i also have people sitting at the bar who i get their orders for, get a coworker to help grab those drinks while i go make 5 salads and bread for eveybody head back out...
me: (as i'm dropping her friends salad) can i go ahead and get you ladies anything else
lg: this Coke, there is something wrong with it...it's just blech (with the icky face)
me: ok would you like me to try the other drink station or would you prefer something else
lg: no i guess just go with water (sounding very put upon because we carry generic crap and icky coke)
me: i'll be right back with that for you (drop the rest of my salads make sure everyone else is good(luckily they are) go get her water and bring it out and low and behold she's eating salad)
Here's another thing, I point blank asked if you wanted salad and you said no, this means that your friend gets unlimited refills on her salad but you don't get any. So now I'm watching and notice that you eat half of it (a couple of bites I would have ignored) I now have more guests and everything is starting to get hectic but i do notice that you two are low on bread and your friend did give me the heads up to "keep it comin" so I come out with your next basket of bread...
me: here's fresh bread for you and I checked on your food it should be out momentarily
lg: can we get another salad? with more dressing this time you didn't put enough on last time (with the attitude, really?!)
me: (at this point i'm really busy but still polite(and normally i do tell them that they would have an additional charge but i didn't feel like i had the time to sit there and explain while dealing with more condescension so decide to not let them know and let a manager deal with it(and now i know my tip is gone because they are going to dispute the charge but i refuse to loose my job over three dollars))) i will be right back with that ma'am anything else while i'm back there?
lg: no
k so I go and do another round to all my tables and guests, thank god my manager, texas, (the one with bar experience) is there because I haven't been behind the bar to make drinks in 10 minutes or so. bring everything out. Their food ends up following me to the table. fast forward to the end of the meal...
me: hey texas, i just wanna give you a heads up that 111 is going to be unhappy that i charged them for her add salad
texas: did you let them know about it before you did it
me: no i've been running around....ok really i just didn't want to deal with the attitude (she's been by this table and had to deal with the condescension so she know where i'm coming from on that point)
texas: see you should have let them know that's where yall mess up....blah blah *lecture, how much did she eat?
me: about half and she said no when i point blanks asked about the salad with her appetizer


i'm tired of typing now so long story short they aren't happy with the bill she explains that the first salad two people can eat without being charged for an extra one (as long as one of them orders something that comes with salad) but once they order a refill they have to be charged, and at this point they decide i am a bad server very not pleasant (now remember she's been by the table a few times and they never had any complaints about my attitude just our gross coke and generic crap) and they stiff me....but you know what it's ok, at least i make an hourly wage (since i was clocked in as a bartender) and i got a little light revenge on a condescending attitude....