Plan

So it's not that I am necessarily opposed to organized religion and the people that follow it.  I mean if it makes you happy to go to a service every weekend, then fine go...especially if you feel that this makes you a better person.  However, if you think that those "saving your soul" pamphlets are to be considered a tip then your a rude, pompous  cocktard. If you leave these and a tip then I might actually read it, but by leaving these as the tip you are ensuring that I never come to your place of faith and that I talk about how the one person I met from there is in fact a rude, pompous cocktard.

I have decided upon a plan of action for this though.  Anytime that I get these pamphlets I will go to a random church and put them in the collection plate as my offerings.  I'm still considering whether or not I should staple a note of 'apology' about how since some people feel that these pamphlets constitute a tip that this is all I can give that week....or maybe I'm just concerned with saving the higher power's soul....

Who do you think your calling?

Since I have moved I am not a full time bartender...Which is great! I like my schedule to be mostly the same day in and day out but I prefer to be doing a different job each day.  I was a server at my new restaurant but then they needed someone who could work to-go's so I volunteered to switch over.  For the most part I like doing to-go's but it seems here lately that not being face to face with someone gives them free reign to wallow in stupidity.

Caller Yes I woul' like to place an order and then come in an' get it

Me Sure, what would you like this evening?

Caller Weeelllll....firs' I have some questions... Do yall serve any chicken and pasta dishes?...please note that I work in an Italian Food restaurant

Me Yes we have several chicken and pasta dishes

Caller Could you name them? (said slightly impatiently)

Me Sure we have _______, ________, _______, (and I go through several of our dishes)

Caller Well what about shrimps and pasta?

Me (thinking to myself...no we only serve tacos and hamburgers not that my restaurant is even a well known corporate italian place) Yes we have ______, _____, _____, and again I name several of our dishes knowing full well that she won't even remember half of them

Caller Well...hm.....what about spaghetti do yall just serve plain ol' spaghetti?

Me Sure do you want just sauce, or would you like meatballs, sausage, or a mix of the two?

and *facepalm...really? Really? you called an italian place, why waste my time asking what type of pasta dishes we have?  just order something, if we don't have it I will let you know and I will even steer you towards something that may be similar to what you're wanting...

other call...

it is two minutes till close...

Caller I wanna place a togo order...

Me I'm sorry but we close at ten and I can't take a to go order over the phone thirty minutes prior to closing, however, if you can get here in the next two minutes I would gladly help you at our bar top.

Caller Really? Dang, no I'm ten minutes away...man I'm hungry, I don't know what I'm gonna eat....dang I just don't know what I'm a do...

Me Well you have a great night ma'am hope you enjoy whatever it is you decide to eat and please don't hesitate to try us again

because you know...McDonald's, Wendy's, or Taco Bell don't all stay open late....I'm just saying...and no I'm not going to offer to stay open just for you...

and then about twenty minutes later someone called trying to place an order...oh what joy I got from saying..."I'm sorry we're closed"